Getting the Heart of Your Children

Solomon revealed a jewel of truth when the Spirit of God led him to pen the words: “My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.” (Proverbs 23:26) Why did Solomon want the heart of his son? Could it be that he recognized that whoever had the allegiance of his son’s heart gained the power of influence in his son’s life? Undoubtedly he realized how instrumental the heart was in all of life’s decisions. Earlier in the Proverbs he expressed the importance of diligently guarding the heart due to the fact that it functions as the evaluation center for all the issues of life. Regardless of his reasons, we recognize his concern; a concern every parent should espouse for their son or daughter.

Parenting without having the heart of the child is like canoeing down a river without a paddle; not only is it difficult, it can also be devastating. Listen to the words of one Mom: “My 8-year old son has been difficult since day one. We have homeschooled all along. He obeys on the outside, but has been known to be deceitful and sneaky. He acts like a teenager at times. He will sulk and be moody and discontent. I told my husband today that I didn’t think we had his heart. When under fire, he sulks, turns away from us, walks ahead of us, and has a sullen expression.”

There is a very sad reality expressed here and what makes matters worse is that this is not uncommon. As a matter of fact, it is one of the greatest fears of a parent and has practically become an expectation… “He acts like a teenager at times.” Why do we say this? Not all teens act this way. No, but they do when their parents are losing or no longer have their hearts.

Solomon said, my son, give me thine heart and let thine eyes observe my ways. When we have the heart of our sons and daughters, their eyes will be focused on our ways, they will emulate our attitudes, and they will embrace our example. God placed this tendency in their hearts from birth. Sure they are sinners and will want to go their own ways, but this only presents another opportunity for the wise and watchful parent to gently correct them in love, paying careful attention to the response of their heart. It’s not just a matter of teaching them right behaviors, but more importantly a matter of ministering to and maintaining the allegiance of their heart.