Happily Married
Don’t you love to read those stories to your kids that end with – “and they lived happily ever after!” The trouble is, the reality of that statement appears to be the experience of relatively few; and perhaps only a few of our own relatives.
I am convinced that part of the problem is a mis-understanding regarding this thing we call happiness. If youbrowse the the various periodicals and books on the subject you will find numerous schemes and themes designed to help the reader in his or her quest for marital happiness. However, the majority of this information is built on a false assumption. You don’t find happiness by seeking it. Whenever your attention is focused on your own fulfillment, happiness is sure to allude you.
No where in the Bible are we instructed to seek joy or happiness. However we are afforded a valuable insight concerning happiness in John 13. Jesus, the Son of God, took time to personally serve his disciples and afterward told them He did this to provide them an example, and if they followed this example, they would experience happiness. In essence, Jesus was teaching us that happiness is a by-product of unselfish service.
This past week I listened to the testimonies of several couples whose marriages were devastated by years of selfish living. Both husbands and wives were frustrated by the failures of their spouses to give or be what they felt they needed, consequently they were extremely unhappy. In each case, the marriages were restored when one of the partners finally recognized the sinfulness of their own selfish expectations and did something to correct it. When the other spouse saw the change, they were skeptical at first, but eventually won over by the godly example of their spouse and subsequently convicted about their own selfishness.
When you learn to put the needs and desires of others ahead of your own, two things will happen (1) you experience a joy you can’t explain and (2) you create a longing in the heart of those you serve to do likewise.
What can be more desireable than two people who genuinely enjoy serving and pleasing one another? That’s enough to make a mighty happy marriage. And when children grow up in that kind of household, not only are they more likely to look forward to marriage, they’ll also have a great example to get them started living happily ever after.