Attentiveness

We are continuing on in our thoughts about parenting skills that I have observed among effective parents. Last week we mentioned that these parents are convinced that they are responsible before God for the nurture and admonition of their children and assume that responsibility. This week we want to talk about an important aspect of that responsibility – attentiveness.

 Attentiveness may be defined as showing the worth of a person or task by giving my undivided attention. Perhaps when it comes to rearing children we can say that these parents exhibit a conscientious oversight. They are acutely aware of their children. They may be in a conversation with someone else, but they are at all times alert to where their kiddos are and what they are doing. They are vigilant about this, extremely observant, perceptive and discerning. Their ears are finely tuned to the voices of their little ones, to the noises that are coming from their whereabouts, and to the actions and antics they are exhibiting.

 Watch them when they talk with their children, they look them in the eye, they get down to their level, they make certain communication is taking place. They don’t yell across the room, they don’t speak to the child whose back is turned, they don’t put up with a child’s inattention, and they don’t have to continually repeat themselves. The attention span of a child may indeed be shorter than that of an adult, but the children of these parents have come to understand that the words of Dad and Mom have weight and they fully expect them to be carried out.

These parents are busy too, but never too busy to instantly remove themselves from their activities to attend to the greater need of an unruly or unresponsive child. And what of their children, are they distressed due to this level of attentiveness? Quite the contrary, they are extremely secure. They don’t have to act up to get their parents attention; they know they already have it. And that provides them with a wonderful sense of assurance because they know that the two people who mean the most to them care enough to pay attention.