God's Instruments of Change
So many parents are hoping to “survive” the teen years when God would much rather have them thrive through their child’s teen years. There is no doubt that confrontation rises to new levels when we deal with teens; their minds are sharp, their memories fresh and their tongues quite able to express themselves. They know you well; for um-teen years they have watched you closely. They know when you mean business, they know when you’re just talking. They know what pleases you and they know what upsets you. They are also keenly aware of what you believe; what you say you believe versus what you truly believe… don’t forget, they know how you live at church and at home.
I read a story recently about a distressed mother who brought her young daughter to Mahatma Gandhi asking him to please tell her child to stop eating so much sugar. Gandhi replied, “Bring her back in three days.” The mother, rather bewildered, agreed and in three days brought her daughter back to see Gandhi. He looked the child in the eyes and simply said, “Stop eating sugar.” The mother, rather surprised spoke up and asked Gandhi, “Why couldn’t you tell her that three days ago?” Gandhi replied, “Because three days ago I hadn’t stopped eating sugar yet.”
It appears Mr. Gandhi understood that words without actions have little impact. Our influence is only as powerful as our example. If you desire to see your teens change, then begin by examining your own example.
Paul Tripp, author of the book, “Age of Opportunity”, said “It is my experience that when parents begin to recognize, own, confess, and turn from their own wrong heart attitudes and the wrong actions that flow from them, the result is a marked difference in their relationship to their teen and in the way they view the struggle of the teen years… Parents who are humbly willing to change, position themselves as God’s instruments of change.”
Dear parent, humbly position yourself as God’s instrument of change. If you find yourself coming up short in a confrontation with your teenager, if they raise valid points of inconsistency; rather than entering a verbal showdown, take the initiative; ask God for the grace you need to change. The difference God makes in you will make a lasting impression in the life of your teen. Your words will carry a new weight of conviction rather than the burden of offense. Let God use you to impact the life of your teenager for His glory.