Individual Time with Children
Stephen Covey in his book “The 7 Habits of Highly Successful Families” recounts a story about a busy father, sitting in his home office checking his appointment schedule for the next day. His five-year-old daughter walks in and stands by unnoticed until she asks, “What are you doing, Daddy?” Without looking up, he replies, “Nothing, honey, just writing down the names of all the important people I need to visit and talk to.” The little girl hesitates and then asks, “Daddy, am I in that book?”
This little girl identified how busy parents can make time for those most important people in their lives. It’s all a matter of priority. Scheduling specific times for family gatherings and one-on-one time with each member of the family can reap a life-time of benefits.
Terri Maxwell, a homeschooling mother of eight gave some helpful hints about how she spends individual time with her children. During homeschool she spends time with each of her children going over various subject matters. “We sit side by side on the sofa, allowing me to put my arm around the child, pat his back, or rub his neck.” During meal preparation she schedules one child to be her meal helper which not only teaches good work habits, but opens up great talk time. Each afternoon she designates a half hour personal time with one of her children and rotates through each of them in the course of a week. One child joins her when running errands or shopping for groceries. For several years she has taken her oldest daughter for a monthly date where they go out to eat and then go to WalMart. This is an appointment she has set for the first Monday of the month. Time is designated each night to pray with the younger children before bedtime. Then there are those relationship moments which require that she stop what she is doing, face her child, look intently and pay close attention to what he or she is saying. Terri said, “When my treasure of time is invested in a child, then my heart is with him as well.”
Life can be extremely demanding and no one feels the pressure of those demands more the parents of a growing family. But busyness is a choice that must be governed by priority. As you look for ways to build a relationship with your children, make it a top priority to have set times for individual one-on-one attention.