Parenting for Their Future
Dr. Henry Cloud tells an interesting story in his book “Boundaries With Kids”. He was visiting in the home of a dear friend when he noticed the wife busily cleaning the room of her 14 year old son. He asked her what she was doing and she said, “I’m cleaning up Cameron’s room. What does it look like I’m doing?”
In disbelief he said, “You are what?”
She said, “I told you. I’m cleaning up his room. Why are you looking at me like that?
All he could do was tell her what he was thinking when he said, “I just feel sorry for Cameron’s future wife.”
She straightened up, froze for a moment, then hurried from the room. He followed her into the hall and saw her standing there motionless. After a few moments she looked at him and said, “I’ve never thought about it that way.”
This dear mother was busy doing what so many parents do, they get so caught up in the daily duties that make a household function that they forget the bigger picture of parenting – to prepare the child for his own future.
I remember when my son went to college and told me a few stories about fellow students who evidently never learned to be responsible for cleaning their rooms and caring for their belongings. Dorm life was a rude awakening for many of these kids and a number of them washed out in their freshmen year.
Today we are building our child’s future. We are forming the fabric of their character today. Children are not born with good character. The Bible makes it quite clear that foolishness is bound up in their young hearts. We will not wake up one day and find responsible, respectful, well mannered adults and wonder how it happened. If good character is found flourishing in a young person you will find a parent who understood the value of it and consistently worked at its development. Mom and Dad, this means we need to begin with the end in mind. We need to parent for our child’s future.
Dr. Cloud went on to tell how the incident above changed this mother; it opened her eyes to the reality of her son’s future. She realized that doing for her son was not helping him in the long run; it only developed a pattern in which he felt entitled to everyone else’s help. By God’s grace, she began parenting with a whole new perspective.