Reality Consequences

Johnny, didn’t I tell you not to leave your baseball glove out in the yard? You know what Rover did to Timmy’s glove. It’s a good thing I saw this when I came in this evening.

Jennifer, your room looks like a pig pen! Mommy is getting sick and tired of coming in here and seeing your clothes scattered all over the floor.

Rebecca, your coloring books are still out on the porch. How many times have I told you to put them away? You kids are running me ragged! I can’t get anything done around here! When are you going to learn to take care of your own things?

Does this sound familiar? Unfortunately, it is far more common than most families care to admit. Able bodied children lackadaisically look on as their parents run around the house picking up, cleaning up, straightening up and occasionally blowing up. They tell their children what to do, some parents even show them how they want it done but the breakdown occurs because parents are constantly sheltering their kids from reality consequences.

What are reality consequences? That is what happens in real life when people fail to do what they know they should; reality sets in and they experience consequences of loss or pain; they learn a big lesson and their memory skills often improve dramatically. Let’s take Johnny’s baseball glove for instance. Mom tells Johnny to bring the glove in and perhaps she even mentions Rover’s affinity for leather. Its Johnny’s glove, he is now responsible for it. If he chooses to leave it out in the yard and Rover devours it, that’s the way it goes… that’s called “reality consequences”.

Of course, Johnny gets mad at Rover and perhaps he cries because he doesn’t have a glove for the game this Friday. He asks Dad if he can have a new glove; and his wise father says, “Sure, but you’ll have to buy this one.” Johnny says he doesn’t have the money. Dad tells him how he can work extra around home and perhaps do some odd jobs for the neighbors. After three to four weeks of hard work and borrowing someone else’s glove each time he played ball, Johnny earns enough to buy himself a new baseball glove.

Now let me ask you a question, do you think Mom has to remind Johnny about leaving his new ball glove out in the yard any more? That’s one less thing to frustrate Mom. Reality consequences can work wonders in the lives of irresponsible youngsters. It accelerates the learning curve far more than the repeated warnings of a frustrated parent.