Using "Something " to Your Advantage

Last week we talked about making wise use of enforceable statements – statements you can legitimately enforce so that you are able to control the outcome of a situation rather than allowing the child to do so. However, there are those times when you simply don’t know what to say or do; what then? In times like these you need a simple one liner that will buy you some time so that wisdom has opportunity to prevail in your predicament. You might calmly but firmly say, “That’s enough, looks like I’m going to have to do ‘something’ about this.”

Now “something” may sound a little ambiguous to you, but the uncertainty it creates for the misbehaving youngster can be extremely sobering. They can be in the middle of a melt-down and these words can change their tune completely. You see, the melt-down is their way of controlling you as a parent; as long as they are throwing their fit and you are standing there in despair, they’ve got you in their control. It’s subtle, but they know how to play the game. If you, all of a sudden, introduce an unknown consequence, they have nothing to weigh their actions against. They are not sure how to act because they are no longer controlling the outcome. At this point, you either walk away or send them to their room and take the time necessary to wisely consider what “something” should be.

Don’t be surprised if they try to get you to tell them what you are going to do; you have already spoken, from this point on your actions will speak louder than words. The more you say, the less effective you will be.

 Now, take time to pray and seek the Lord. If the situation has upset you, give yourself time to cool down and think rationally. Think about what you should do. You may want to talk with your spouse or seek the advice of someone you trust in family matters. Meanwhile, the time you are taking to discern what is best is working in your behalf as your child awaits your decision. Children want closure in these situations. It is not unusual for young children to remind you to take care of their disciplinary measures; they want this issue to be over with.

Once you have determined what “something” should be – do something about it! If you have asked God for wisdom, don’t waiver now, deliver on your promise. To do nothing about “something” will disarm you in the future. When “something” is the wise thing, you can expect God’s blessings.